Pacifically

I didn’t think I’d have to specify when I said “someone that loves me” that I’d want a woman. Like a cis woman, born a woman/girl/female.

Jesus Christ.

The One

Voices keep saying the one you wanted to be with, I assume the first person you admitted you loved, killed themselves at the moment or after your confession.

It’s one of the reasons why you’re “unfaithful” I suppose.

I have words for this but I suppose they’d fall on deaf ears, or blind eyes in this case.

But yeah no, I get why something like that would leave a lasting impact on you.

Three Words

Polyamory

Open Relationship

Edit: Voices say you’d rather stab yourself than compromise to any of those lifestyles, then what the fuck is the big idea?!

they say you can be faithful, but you won’t compromise, what the fuck do you want?!

Just go goddamn get it and leave me out of it already!!!!!!

Bended Knee

Fuck Typing

Edit: Voices are saying you’d sample my voices memos so you can make shitty music for that shitty country.

Do it.

I dare you.

In between a rock (hard cock) and a hard life

More voices about arse knulling in Argentina.

Edit: Voices say you sucked so much cock at the NY Hostel they kicked you out. I wonder if they mean you caused a ruckus? They also said you eventually went to stay with that “Jets Player” only to find out he had a tiny apt, and lied about being a pro athlete.

Edit: Voices (for a while now) have been saying you “never want me to know anymore” so can you stop them??? Cause I can’t.

Edit: Once again voices say you’ve taken your own life… I’ll wait for them to flip the script in a few hours I suppose.

Edit: voices say you’ve been in my city the whole time waiting for me to become a celebrity so you can kill yourself

Steel Yourself

That’s what I tell myself.

Voices say you apply feces as makeup and you feel stupid.

Also that no fly list again.

Edit: You have brain damage.

And take a boat to the USA don’t fuck up the plane ride for everyone else goddamn you selfish bitch

Steel Yourself

That’s what I tell myself.

Voices say you apply feces as makeup and you feel stupid.

Also that no fly list again.

Just Die Without Me

Voices keep saying how much you just want to die.

I’m

Not stopping you.

Just let me know if you’re dead so I can finally move forward.

If I’m just crazy and you’re dead, at least I know you’re dead and this will bother me less.

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

Why are you playing into the hands of such unserious people!?

No, I know why. Because they have this “technology” to drive you insane, but still, there’s gotta be something else that can be done.

SOMETHING.

London

Voices say you have another child in the UK, and you wanted me to know that by sending those email from the child’s private school to my Apple email address..?

Edit: Voices are saying this kid in London is your true “Love Child” but how are you maintaining that relationship? What do you fly to London on weekends or something??? They’re also saying this is T, the opposite or what have you but a double life with two families is out of this world. I didn’t think people still did that in this day and age…

Edit: Now voices are saying you did that, cause I signed you up for the wine, you did that to suggest that I should have a child… lol no…

Attempted Murder

I can see that Norway has laws that have a maximum jail time of 21 years, but that’s for murder, I can’t find anything specific for Norway in attempted murder. I see a range of 3 to 12.5 years but I don’t know which country that pertains to.

Daughter given up for adoption, mostly because you’re the breadwinner.

Sucks to suck.

🎶Come Back Lover Come Back🎶

Voices keep saying you’ll “make it up to me”

That Aaron Wall wanted to come with me to New York

That you’d have been all over him

And then say that’s the opposite, that it’d be T.

That you wanted me to kill myself,

That T wanted me to kill myself.

This kinda ran in and out of my head as soon as it arrived, so that means I’m recovering, finally.

They keep saying it’s “somebody else” that wants all these horrible things and more to happen, I can’t keep up with it.

And I’m not betting on you coming back to make amends with me either, but it does feel nice to think about, and it reminds me of this song:

Why me?

We’ve had conversations in the past about what it means to be “strong” before.

Why am I the inspiration when I have no desire to kill myself?

And yes this madness has brought me to my lowest lows and I can empathize with being suicidal, but if you’ve had a rifle in your mouth and couldn’t pull the trigger try a handgun because the distance is much shorter.

I don’t know who’s “turning up” to save your life but if you give them the chance I don’t think you’re as serious as you claim you are about wanting to kill yourself.

edit: it should be easy for you to get a handgun. You could literally use me as an excuse, that you have an American stalker who might return to the country and you’re purchasing this gun as a form of self-defense.

Sex in Boston

But not with me.

Voices, sometimes, scream in my head about things. It’s almost a “distant” scream, like I can tell they’re screaming but from far away.

Anyway they just screamed that you had sex in the hostel in Boston.

Then quickly said NY.

I can’t make heads or tails of this, I just know they keep repeating themselves and I wish this would end.

Of course I’d like to hear from you in the present moment so I can solidify what’s real and what isn’t but alas, you have moved beyond the point of conversation. At least with me, as they also indicate your family members are courting other people using your e-mail or other social media handles, whereas I, again, am “blocked on everything.”

This sucks.

Playful

Voices tell me you were only being “playful” with me. That you did not feel the way I felt.

I wish they would just stop, because that seems obvious.

And I’m just repeating myself.

I’ve been ghosted and frozen out by you on multiple levels.

Nothing about that is playful, but it does demonstrate how much you want absolutely nothing to do with me.

If that’s subject to change, wonderful, but I seriously doubt it is.

edit: voices said you began to initiate a threesome with someone at the hostel in Boston. They make it sound as if the person that wanted the threesome, you allowed them to “turn all the way up” and once they had a tactile, a tangible radio body, you got up and left the engagement. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m describing…