While I’m in this process of realization, I hate how my psychosis made me hate people I love. And I also hate how people I love left me to deal with this on my own. It wasn’t everyone, but I’m anticipating being assaulted by voices that will sarcastically “welcome” me to the “club” although the club itself, is a hallucination, a headache, if you will. And while these bridges are burned, it also saddens me that we don’t, in reality, have telepathy. A network of friends that we can tap into for reassurance when times are tough, not belittle each other. To be a psychic link and anticipate or even plan better days to come. I’m so sad
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But, at least I now know that if I decide to have children, and they are afflicted with my malady (apparently this shit is genetic) then I can help guide them through it. I suppose that is the light at the end of this 14 year long tunnel….