What’s up party people in the place to be?
I was thinking to myself before I started writing this that I wasn’t going to talk about the election, but how can I not?
I remember thinking voting for Biden was “settling” but after the tumultuous wait to see who’s be elected it brought to me a wave of joy and relief. That’s not only for myself but also for many of my seniors and peers.
It’s crazy to think that this nation could be so divided, and even crazier still that we had someone in office stoke those flames, but as much as it’s time for America to “heal” I also see some people of not the same people celebrating, also advocating to hold these people in power accountable, to hold them to their word and demand the real change we want and need to see.
NOW THAT THATS OUT OF THE WAY: I want to make more art. I want to pass my classes and I want a better paying job or a raise at my current job. I love my job by the way, but I feel like I’m stuck, scholastically and artistically.
I could be working on my 4th and 5th book, a photo book with prose dotted in between, but I keep telling myself I’ll do that when I get a new MacBook or something.
Right now the focus is most definitely on school but I can’t help but feel like I’m failing. I don’t have the best track record with education but at least I’m trying? I talk to this lady at my job and she reminds me that life is hard and working 40 hours a week and taking classes even if it’s just one is no walk in the park. I talk to friends and they tell me it’s easy to just get down on yourself but you can’t give up, I’m just not sure how I can clear this fog, so to speak. I feel like there are a lot more things I would prefer to focus on but at the same time maybe I’m trying to live up to other people’s expectations? And it’s the same image everyone has of me, that I’m a bright young man destined to do great things as long as I keep plugging away with my nose to the grindstone.
It feels good to say/type out and I can’t believe I have the “but what if I’m not” feeling after reading that. We are our own worst critic after all.
One last thing before I stop writing: I had a friend that called me out on a post I made to my Instagram a few mo the back. I recently unfollowed him because he’s politically pessimistic and I see his words more than I see him taking action for the change he wants to see. My mom used to say “they’re are people in your life for reasons or seasons” and while I can stomach opposing political views what I can’t stomach is someone who whines for the sake of whining instead of getting up the nerve to email a politician or speak to their government about injustices they feel are happening around them. I guess I wish we could’ve agreed to disagree and I could’ve help him make an action plan or take the next steps to the world he would like to live in. Sad to see’em go but love to see’em walk away they say. Anyway just had to get that off my chest.
Theres more fragmented thoughts in my brain but I’m gonna end it here.
Stay beautiful and be the change you want to see in the world.
I mean that.