Voices in my head keep talking about how you bet on my suicide.
Among other things (girl on the train)
Voices keep talking about the blogs where I said “I want to die” but kind of gloss over the fact that I say right after “and come back to life like a Phoenix.”
Maybe this is where the “burning my house down” idea came from as well.
I don’t recall any blog I wrote on either of my xanga where I wanted a permanent death.
Maybe I did, but it was all hyperbole.
I’m just tired in those moments.
Exhausted.
Burnt out.
Spent.
Voices (and the people in my waking life) recognize that it’s a lot of work to do what I’m doing.
Few, (albeit I don’t know how many) actually get the gusto to even try.
We persevere here on this side of the planet.
I’ve been saying this a lot recently,
“I try.”