Voices say you “lost it” on someone at the hostel in Boston I assume and then you had “sex” with them over and over.
Voices say this is another person you’re trying to convince to “get over it” or that whatever happened was just what it was and nothing more.
Work is busy today, or at least there’s an incident that needs a bit more attention than most days.
I don’t know what to feel, or what to think. I almost stayed in bed all day but I remembered I have responsibilities if not to my job than to myself, so I got up, did a shot of mouth wash, got dressed. I recently got a haircut so I didn’t brush my hair, it’s so low you could barely call it hair but still.
I had a little dream about you last night though, we were together in bed, but I forget what we were chatting about.
It felt good to think of you fondly, and I think that’s what I hate the most.
Not that I think about you, but that I still feel for you. And after all this time, after all that I’ve done, and what you haven’t done, that I can still feel “good” about “us.”
But maybe that’s the key to a strong marriage, one person that doesn’t quit.
One person that wants to do the right thing.
One person that will be there through thick and thin.
While the other one rots, is unfaithful, comes and goes as they please.
Who do I even blame for the “warm and fuzzies” myself? You?
I am who I am, and I’ve accepted that, but still.