"How to make love to a negro without getting tired"

That’s the title of a novel if I recall correctly, not the name of this blog, but there will be shared themes lol.

Before we start:

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

Now let us continue.

What’s up, are you stepping in the name of love this Black History Month? I think we get an extra day cause it’s 2024, a leap year, and also the year of the dragon.

Found this article saying Gen Z has less sex, and honestly, good for them. As an aging millennial, feeling outcast by the women of his age range, and cursed with the thought that he’ll be a sugar daddy at some point in his early 50’s or later, I kind of like the idea of finding someone, even if they’re younger, that wants to take things slow.

Truth of the matter is I’m out of shape and out of the dating game, and I don’t know whether or not I want to jump back in.

I’ve tried free pornography

I’ve paid for onlyfans

As of right now I’m thinking about going back to any triple x brick and mortar store I can find to look for something special to get my rocks off. Something to sate my porn poisoned brain.

I don’t hope to find a younger person, a person my age would suit me fine, maybe even a little older, but I think at least for right now, I’m being lumped in with the undesirables, and you have to make do with the cards you’re dealt if that’s the case. That’s how I see it.

Maybe it’s the city

maybe it’s the people

maybe it’s me

but whatever the case is, it’s not happening for me.

______________________________________________

I got a letter from the President yesterday talking about the war in Palestine, and how the government is doing everything in it’s power to push for a two state solution and end the killing of innocent civilians.

“Yeah right.”

I thought to myself, and typed just now.

The news, the eye witness reporting, the activism, it’s all having a bludgeoning effect on me.

Day after day I’m pounded with information about injustices and it feels like everywhere you fucking look, someone is fucking up the environment, engaging in slavery, trying to bust up unions, not funding local school districts enough, and it just goes on and on and on.

My buddy said I shouldn’t take it upon myself to try and fix the world’s problems but I’m honestly already too far gone. My person favorite form of activism is to write letters/e-mails to politicians and state officials but the ink has been running dry lately.

I’d share a place to donate money too so that Palestinians get enough food and water to eat but Israel is blocking that same life saving service with armed forces. Like the UN needs its own private military to do work. It’s insane. It’s really insane, and after getting over the “shock factor” of it all I still can’t seem to find the right combination of vowels, consonants and syllables to really make it click for someone, someone that might have existed generations before me, because those are the people in power, the people that can do something about this. But maybe it’s not my words the world is looking for, not yet at least.

_____________________

Anyway, I want to start a newsletter something “community building,” something people can interact with that isn’t just a blog. I got all these grand ideas in my head but I really need to get them started, get a plan on paper and just go for it.

School obviously comes first. I have a great opportunity right now and I can’t waste it, I know, but AFTER school is all said and done, what’s next?

That’s what stays on my mind.

____________________________

I hope you all have a happy Valentines Day,

I’m gonna go on a date with Palmela Henderson and pick out a fine selection of scented oils,

I hope your day is just as invigorating and sensual.

Take care, and I’ll see you in the next one!

HNY: 2024- "Tension"

Free Palestine.

As I sit her with my sides burning, the tension of my curved spine while I hunch a little to type on my computer this blog entry I only wish that I had done this yesterday. It’s only 1 day behind, Happy New Year everybody.

It’s hard to care about everything going on in the world and enjoy the holidays, so I suppose that’s why I didn’t see many people mentioning what is going on in Gaza, or the Congo, or Ukraine, or Venezuela and Guyana, etc.

Talks about football, being chastised for not giving enough gifts, bringing alcohol no one drank, congratulating people about their movements up and down the corporate ladder, and worrying about bills.

Almost everything else under the sun I talked about and ruminated over but current world events.

Ya’know, the world feels so different when you put down your phone.

But then I got back to Boston,

Back to the guerrilla flyers,

back to the protests,

back to the 24/7 third party coverage.

I hit the ground running.

I’m taking care of a friends dogs,

school starts on the 22nd

I have a dentist appointment to go to,

I need to submit a form to get my associates degree,

and somewhere find the money to pay for classes.

I see 2024 as a year of opportunity, I just have that feeling about it.

A chance to mature financially,

a chance to break free from the few chains that bind me.

I’ve been thinking about my ex, Ingeborg, a lot in the past few weeks since Christmas but not enough to write to her.

I don’t know that she would even care to read what I had to say, but not with just her, I find myself wishing I was still on speaking terms with many people I have loved and lost as I claw tooth and nail to where I am now.

I want to share success with people.

I want to party with all my fiends at once.

I want to stop the yearly ebb and flow of new and old faces that are the crashing waves in the sea of time.

I guess I’m holding on to the past, which is kind of ironic to realize as we enter into a new year,

but it’s not like I’m unable to let go.

I’ve let go,

but perhaps I have further to go to get away from it all.

Peace out cub scouts,

Happy New Year.

Have a Holly, Jolly, Christmas

I want to preface this by saying:

Don’t get it Twisted, we’re still about freeing Palestine, and I won’t stop saying that in my blog entries until there’s a ceasefire.

_____

It’s hard to be in the Holiday spirit with the way current events are being told all over the news, at least for me, but I suppose I am looking forward to seeing my family in one room and perhaps offering prayers for those that have lost theirs.

I know thoughts and prayers ain’t much but it doesn’t seem like offering money is either, when aid troops being sent to these places in the world are also being bombed and or gunned down. It’s cruel, vicious, inhumane and any other synonym you can think of. Still, a friend of mine showed me that the out pouring and posting on social media has been positively affecting the world, so I can at least keep doing that, knowing that it’s making a difference.

Aside from all that, the semester is almost over, I got into UMass Boston and I’m gearing up to start orientation and hopefully, get good enough grades to qualify for the Mass Grant Plus program. It’s been a long time coming, and it’ll be another 3-4 years until I get my bachelors degree but the end finally feels like it’s in sight. Something worth celebrating, truly.

I’ve been trying to work out, trying to eat more protein, gaining some muscle and I’m at the point where I need to reach a caloric deficit. I suppose I’ve always needed to be at that point but now it’s like, serious. With the precious time I have in the day that won’t be dedicated to work or homework, I’m trying to think how can I squeeze in at least 300-600 calories burned in exercise. My plan is to not just wake up at 9AM, but to actually get out of bed and work out, maybe use Fitness Boxing on my Switch, or Run Fit. Something I don’t have to think about too much, and then I can lift weights when I come home at night. I feel like I’m brainstorming and getting somewhere at the same time. It just needs one more push. Maybe two.

Currently I’m playing “Dragon Quest Monsters: The Dark Prince.” I really fell in love with the demo and while my backlog grows steadily larger, I feel like I’ll have this game wrapped up quickly and then I can tackle everything else. GTA 6 doesn’t come out until 2025 so there’s plenty of time.

Later Gators, and remember,

From the River, to the Sea.